Through Mud Colored Glasses
by Eclipse of Sanity
Summary: Mudshipping is out there. Isaac and Mia's love is undeniable... or is it?


**Through Mud-Colored Glasses**

* * *

_Ok, I'm just a little tired of reading about people trying to prove Mudshipping all the time. They will do anything to prove their favourite pairing, but seriously some of the stuff they come up with is appalling, so I'm going to make fun of them. I'm not making fun of people who like Mudshipping, just people who will use... anything._

* * *

There was a boy. 

His name was Isaac, and he lived in Vale.

Isaac wasn't much of a talker. Everybody thought he was mute, actually. In fact, Isaac just didn't like talking.

We know what happened to him. Set off on a journey with best friend, met more people, tried to stop lighthouses being lit, failed horribly, helped save the world, yadda yadda.

But the important part is that he met a girl named Mia.

Mia was a very boring girl. She had the power to angst for precisely 3 seconds.

"OH NO! I failed my duty! ... Ok, let's go bust out Alex and save the world, guys!" And she said the last part with a dazzling smile on her face as if nothing had happened.

Now that there was a girl in the group of three boys, something interesting ought to have happened.

Of course, it didn't.

**"Character Development"** was a foreign concept to the Powers That Be.

As was **"Normal Conversation, with Interaction".**

Isaac was mute.

Garet acted pretty stupid.

Ivan really sounded like a fifteen-year-old boy trying to sound intelligent.

Still, despite the fact that Isaac was mute and Mia showed the personality of a drop of water, people was sure they could see something between the two.

Perhaps Isaac and Mia had a night or two under the stars and talked like lovers, according to Mudshippers.

Whatever a lover's talk was, they rarely sounded like:

"Isaac."

"..."

"The stars are pretty."

"..."

"I like stars."

"..."

"You did well in Colosso."

"..."

"I hope we're going to catch up to Saturos and Menardi before they light Venus Lighthouse."

"..."

"Do you think I am capable of showing any more sarcasm after that little bit in Altmiller Cave?"

"No."

"Do you ever say anything other than No?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Goodnight."

Still, they claimed the passion was there and Isaac and Mia were actually star-crossed lovers, long before the lighting of Mercury... we mean, Venus Lighthouse beacon.

Isaac pushed the statues because he loved Mia.

Never mind that Garet also had "Move" Psynergy and could also push them.

Mia smiled a lot after Colosso.

She couldn't be happy that Isaac was okay without being in love with him first. Friends are never happy for each other. Only lovers.

This was all the rabid fans had to go on.

Then there was a continuation.

**The Lost Age.**

Somehow, Isaac found the ability to speak.

Perhaps Ivan shocked it out of him.

Unfortunately, it infected Felix, but that's another story.

The next chapter of the saga of the supposed lovers continued on Jupiter Lighthouse.

And here, Isaac's first word was "Mia!"

Yes. This proved Mudshipping. Couldn't you tell? Ivan shouted for Garet, Isaac shouted for Mia.

You must never shout out someone's name unless you love them.

Which means Ivan loves Garet and Garet loves Mia as Ivan yelled "Garet!" and Garet yelled "Mia!" before that.

And we have a soap opera on our hands.

Soap operas aside, the Mudshippers went wild at hearing Isaac's 'first word'.

Unfortunately, it got worse.

Mudshippers claimed that when Mia asked Isaac to help Garet, it meant she loved Isaac.

Well, Mia did consider asking her imaginary friend, Blinky, but he ran away suddenly, and Ivan was a wuss, so Isaac was clearly the only option. Therefore, proving her love for him.

Still, the Mudshippers were very, very happy with their pairing and shoving their baseless arguments down the throats of Valeshippers, who at least had something to go on thanks to Sheba.

And so, Isaac and Mia were kidnapped one day and taken to a mysterious building.

And Mudshippers watched on as Isaac and Mia were trapped in a room, staring blankly at each other.

"Ohhh! He blinked at her! Their love is undeniable!"

"Isaac, do you hear that?" Mia asked.

"What's your name again?" Isaac frowned. "Melinda? Marie? Mina?"

"It's Mia!"

"Oh. Of course."

"Um," A Mudshipper turned her head. "Ever get the feeling we read too much into things?"

"HECK, NO!" The other Mudshippers chorused.

Before we anger Mudshippers too much, let's say Isaac and Mia fell in love, ran off, got married and had kids.

**The end.**

* * *

_Not that we're saying only Mudshippers read too much into things._

_Steamshippers do claim that Garet and Mia staring at each other in the ending cartoon proves their love._

_By that logic, the ending cartoons prove some VERY, VERY messed up pairings._

_In other words, we need to stop trying to prove pairings. Just get along and ship what you like. We don't care why you like them or what reasons there are. Do there need to be reasons? Sometimes, you sound very silly pulling stuff out of nowhere._


End file.
